10 Tips for Finding the Best Online Dating Site for You

Question: What could Match.com, eHarmony, and AdultFriendFinder possibly have in common and why do you care? Answer: They are all online dating sites designed with a very specific objective and person in mind. Fact is, an amazing number of people sign up to the wrong dating site and wonder why it doesn’t work for them… So, if you are looking for a serious relationship, don’t you think it would be a mistake to join AdultFriendFinder? Yes, it may be fun to look around and flirt, etc., but are you really being honest with yourself and with the other members of that site?

eHarmony is intended for people looking for a long-term, serious relationship, A.K.A. “looking for marriage”.

AdultFriendFinder is intended for people looking for a casual, and in most cases, a sexual relationship, A.K.A. “not looking for marriage”.

Match.com falls somewhere in between, focusing on casual dating that may potentially turn into a long term relationship.

There are literally hundreds, even thousands, of dating sites to choose from. How do you know which ones are right for you? As you begin your search for the best online dating site, you will probably be surprised by the number of options. Online dating services are popping up daily on the internet, making the decision of choosing the “right” service a bit overwhelming.

It’s well worth the extra time to find 2 or 3 dating sites that fit your personality and offer the services that you’re looking for. Narrow down the list of potential online dating sites to your top 3 and then compare them to determine the pros and cons of each one. Pay particular attention to the monthly cost and features offered by each dating site.

While more and more ‘free’ dating sites are becoming available, most sites differentiate between free and paid memberships. In general, most dating sites will let you upload your profile and a few photos, and search through their database of profiles for free (but they may not let you see all of the details). You will most likely have to pay for any additional features.

Once you’ve chosen a few, sign up for each of them. It only takes a little extra time and you’re sure to meet different people on each of the different sites.

Here are some excellent tips for finding a service that will best match your needs:

1 Establish a budget. Decide how much money you want to spend, and set a budget. Most online dating websites charge a recurring monthly fee, but there are a few that have a one-time membership fee, and even fewer totally free sites. Determine up front how much you want to spend so that you can narrow your choices and avoid sites that don’t fit in your budget.

2 Ask for references. Talk to friends and family to see if they or anyone they know has had a good experience with a particular online dating website. If you don’t know anyone, you can always check out an online dating guide. Just go to your favorite search engine and type in “online dating guide”. You’ll get plenty to choose from.

3 Try to choose an online dating service that has been around for a couple of years. The best way to find out how long a website has been around is to go to the website’s “About Us” page where you will learn not only the date the site was started but also the company’s philosophy. Another good source of information is the “FAQ”, or frequently asked questions page on the website.

4 Do your research. Take the time to check your favorite search engines for popular dating sites. Try searching terms like “online dating”, “meet someone online”, or “online personals” to generate lists of potential online sites for you.

5 Consider specialized or niche sites. Think about any special interests or unique situations that might require a more specialized online dating website. If you are interesting in something specific like Single Parents, Christian Dating, Jewish Dating, Senior Dating, Gay Dating, or Adult Dating, make sure you include those terms in your search (see #4 above).

6 Determine the pros and cons of your top picks. Narrow down the list of potential online sites to your top three and compare them to determine pros and cons of each one. Compare them buy cost and features that are interesting to you such as live chat, online video, and number of members on the site.

7 Sign up to multiple dating sites. Don’t be afraid to sign-up for multiple websites or change services if you are not satisfied. The goal is to meet new people online and enjoy the process. If a particular site is not meeting your needs, move on before you invest more of your money on a service that isn’t right for you.

8 For safety and convenience, look for online dating services that offer onsite messaging and email services. This will allow you to communicate with people using a special email provided by the dating service instead of using your personal email or IM (instant message). You should stay anonymous, at least at first. You wouldn’t walk into a bar with a name and address tag around your neck, would you? It is important, however, to use a valid email address when signing up for your account. Most dating sites give you the option to receive email notification of replies to your personal ad, and some even forward the reply right to your email box. You won’t want to miss these emails! I suggest that you use a free email account, such as Yahoo Mail or Hotmail , to reduce the possibility of spam. Just remember to check your new mailbox!

9 Make sure the dating service offers secure payment methods. Also, look at the type of payments accepted (credit card, check, money order, PayPal, etc.) to ensure the options work for you.

10 Look for websites that offer free trials. Look for an online dating service that will allow you to browse profiles and photos before you join, or a service that offers a free trial period so you can talk to people that you are interested in meeting before you have to pay. This allows you to fully understand the number and types of potential matches already signed up with the service.

Attraction and Relationships – Is it True That Behind Every Successful Man Stands a Woman? Part 2

A common proverb attributed to male-female attraction and relationships includes the old cliché that, “Behind every successful man stands a woman.”

However, to reach the top normally requires what in Nature is called “the killer instinct.”

In modern Western human societies, relatively little actual killing takes place and thus the phrase isn’t literally true these days. But it still refers the willingness to set aside your state of mind to achieve a specific and very challenging goal.

The top spot will go to a guy who can fire workers whose wives are eight months pregnant and not miss a beat while doing it. That will also be the guy who won’t think twice about closing down factories if they can be relocated to a third-world country where wages are low and benefits are non-existent.

Loyalty means nothing to him. He has no real friends. Ice flows through his veins.

But the real trick is to seem likeable at the same time. Many politicians and business leaders common have both these traits and it’s the foundation of their success.

But very few guys are that ruthless by nature. Most of us are nice guys. We’re decent human beings. We’re compassionate.

That’s because most societies try to control us from a young age by instilling guilt or shame if we don’t sublimate our own desires to “the greater good” (this most definitely includes the dynamics of attraction and relationships).

The paradox is that men who learn those lessons well won’t usually go all the way to the top, whether it’s in politics, business, or romance.

And let’s face it: that’s most of us! We want to be liked. We worry about what others might think of us. And we’re loyal to those friends and co-workers who have supported us on the way up.

That’s where women come in. We may not be cold, calculating or ruthless. But, women can summon up those qualities more easily than you might realize.

And they reward those qualities more quickly than you’d like to admit: guys who actually have the killer instinct tend to attract lots of women. But there are not enough of those guys to meet the female demand.

So women do the next best thing: they develop their own “killer” man in-house. They find and marry a very smart, talented guy with a solid education and then proceed to hone his killer instinct.

She’ll make sure he “dresses for success.”
She won’t allow him to leave for the office with five o’clock shadow visible.
She’ll regularly prod him into asking for raises.
And when he comes home with a tale of woe about how his nemesis “Fred” is angling for a big promotion at the office, she’ll kick into high gear and coach him on how to ace Fred out of the running with an assortment of dirty tricks.

Like the Drill Sergeant who barks, “Get down and give me twenty!”, she’ll whip her recruit into a lean, mean, fighting machine. He’ll claw his way up the ladder, because she’ll not let up on pressuring him.

But just to be sure that he doesn’t begin to coast, she’ll also ramp up her spending as his compensation grows. And that’s why you’ll see many married couples earning six-figure incomes who seem to be just scraping by. He makes an awful lot of money, but her tastes are even more expensive.

In the past when it was still legal to do so, it wasn’t unusual for companies hiring men for the fast track to interview their wives also, to see if the wife had expensive tastes. If she did, the company knew her husband had the potential to rise to the top some day. But if the wife seemed to be frugal, her husband wouldn’t get the job, because his motivation to do “whatever it takes” would not be there.

If you watch the corporate scandals that emerge every few years and you wonder why guys who are already worth millions of dollars would risk it all on shady schemes that will end up with some of them going to prison, we’ll wager that every one of them was married to a woman with expensive tastes. The next time you see one of those “perp walks” on TV, take a look for his wife walking just behind him and you’ll usually see a very expensively attired woman.

Guys and Relationships – Things That You Should Know About Men

Are you clueless about what men think about relationships? Have you been anxious for quite some time now trying to figure out how your guy sees your relationship? Are you losing your sleep over trying to know about guys and relationships? Well, do not panic. We all know that men are from Mars and it is very difficult for most women to gauge their thoughts.

Men have a very different thinking pattern than women, and, the way they see relationships, what they feel about relationships, etc., are very different from the way women see and feel. In order to have a healthy relationship, you must understand what your man expects from the relationship. You should have a very clear idea about the male perspective. Do you know what your guy likes about you relationship? Do you have any idea what aspect of your relationship makes him want to crawl up the walls? Do you have a clue about what his idea of an ideal relationship is?

Well, men are not that complicated. You can understand them clearly by knowing the following things about guys and relationships:

• Men like communication: Contrary to popular belief, men really like clear, honest, sincere communication. Your husband/boyfriend cannot read your mind. Men prefer that women tell them clearly about what they want, what their needs are, etc. This helps men be more sensitive and accommodating. Men do not like complicating things unnecessarily. If you want your guy to do something, or, to behave in a certain way, you should just tell him that directly. Also, you should be open to what your guy thinks and wants. Men really appreciate crystal clear two way communication. This prevents complexities and misunderstandings. You need to have a real idea about guys and relationships.

• Men like independent, confident women: Men really like women who are strong and do not depend on anybody. They want to feel that they are loved by the women in their lives genuinely, and, do not want a woman to like them just out of desperation or for financial reasons. Men like women who respect themselves and have a life of their own. Men love a woman who has a career, great friends, etc., in short, an amazing life.

• Manipulation is a strict ‘no no’: Mind games might look fun on screen, but, in real life, these can be detrimental for your relationship. Men simply hate mixed signals and crooked communication. If you want to say something to your partner, you should just say it instead of sending cryptic messages that confuse the person. If there is something you want ask or clarify, you should choose a direct approach and should definitely avoid any kind of manipulative measures.

• Fidelity is very important: Fidelity is a big factor and is on top of every man’s priority list. Men only want those women in their lives who are honest and are completely committed to the relationship. So, you should make sure to express your feelings clearly and make your man completely secure about your loyalty. This is the biggest factor related to guys and relationships.

• Men like women who have a clear idea about how men need to be treated: Men need to feel strong, needed and important. It’s an ego thing and you should never do or say anything that makes your guy feel inadequate and unappreciated. You should make him feel loved and cared for and that he is very important to you. If you want a clear picture about guys and relationships, you should try to understand a man’s needs.

Understanding Women in Relationships – Why You Should Avoid Prosperous Women

Understanding women in relationships is both a simple and sophisticated topic. Let’s start with the simple stuff:

A woman who needs a man will go out and find the best man she can get and win his heart.
She’ll make it happen, even if she has to compromise a bit here and there in terms of her “ideal”.
And once she has you, she’s more likely to hang on to you.

That doesn’t mean she’ll never fight with you, of course – just the opposite! But she’ll be more likely to remain with you once each fight has ended if she truly needs you.

In contrast, a woman who merely wants a man will be very picky. She’s in no rush to close the deal. She can take her time looking. And if she finds a good catch, she’ll often balk at closing the deal lest she miss a chance to find an even better prospect that might happen by next week or next month.

And if she does get a man and he fails to live up to her standards, she’ll start looking for his replacement pretty quickly.

Such women are effectively seeking perfection or something close to it. A woman like this might only be a 7 or a 5 or a 3 (and depreciating rapidly) in terms of her desirability to men, but she’ll still believe that she deserves a guy who is at least a 9. That’s the “man shortage” which so many women grumble about … the shortage of desirable men who are seeking much less desirable women. The hot guys are passing them over in favor of hotter women.

There are occasional books and articles in the press and Internet which examine the stresses that arise when a wife’s income exceeds that of her man. And it’s not a pretty picture, if you’re that guy.

And there also seem to be quite a few articles exploring the topic of “Where Have All the Good Men Gone?” These always explore the travails of thirty-something women who have seen it all and done it all, and who now grumble about why they can’t seem to find a husband. We can’t speak for you, but after reading those sorts of articles, we have no trouble at all imagining why those women might have been unable to close the deal.

In fact, each of those articles leads us to the same conclusion: If you’re looking for marital longevity, be very cautious about picking a woman who’s already prosperous. You’ll have a far tougher time holding on to her and far less fun spending time with her than if you pick out a woman of more modest means who’s actually willing to give as well as get.

In our experience, we’ve usually had the most fun (once out of the university and into a normal work environment) with women of modest means. That means waitresses, clerks, and the like.

We’ve had the least fun with the women who were prosperous (professionals, executives and managers. It wasn’t true 100% of the time, but the pattern held often enough that we took it into account when prospecting for “new talent”.

Keep that in mind when you’re hunting for your next partner around town. It’s never too late to begin improving your understanding of women in relationships.

About Mack Doppler:

Like so many other guys just learning about women, Mack was initially the classic “nice guy” and struck out consistently. But en route to earning degrees in Psychology and Business, he took a year off to work on the lighting for rock concerts in California and got his first taste (and quite a few additional servings) of “groupie sex”.

As you can imagine, that very enjoyable experience showed him a very different side of women that no one had ever told him about when he was growing up. It also broadened his thinking about women — including what they’ll do under the right circumstances.